It’s mental health awareness week and for that I’d like to mention self-worth. Whether you believe you are worth it or not.
There can be a number of reasons for you to feel you’re not good enough.
Maybe you grew up hearing more negatives than positives, perhaps an event created the feeling in you, or you thought you can only be loved if you behaved well or achieved something better.
Whatever the reason for you to feel unworthy, it leads to self-sabotage.
Let me explain.
When you are faced with something good, but deep down, subconsciously, you believe you’re not worth it, you think you don’t deserve it. Thus, when things are good, you’ll do something that will sabotage the good.
You may drink, binge eat, use drugs, become angry, panic, behave in an inappropriate way, deprive yourself, procrastinate, or run away, etc.
For you to be able to stop all that, you need to start to see the good in you, to truly believe in yourself, to think that you are good enough.
There are number of ways you can do this with a professional, but let me share a few steps you can do at home without anyone’s help.
1. Recognise that you are better than you thought.
Every evening, finish the day with writing down at least 3 things that you have done/achieved on that day. This can be as simple as getting out of bed. Maybe you’ve been kind to another human being. Perhaps you made breakfast for yourself or others.
Unfortunately, schools don’t teach children to praise themselves or to think highly about themselves as it’s classified as selfish and egotistic. However, without it we can’t really feel good enough.
This exercise will help you to start praising yourself and will re-program your mind to feel better about yourself and will boost you self-worth.
2. Start to like yourself.
Similar to the above, but here I invite you to write down 3 things that you liked about yourself that day. This could be your look, a behaviour, an action, or anything that you really enjoyed and gave you good feelings. For example, you made an excellent cup of tea, or you smiled at a stranger, or you spent some time with a friend, or family.
This exercise helps you to re-connect with good feelings. Emotions that raise your energy boosts self-worth.
On the 7th day I invite you to look at the week’s list, read it to yourself and allow the good feelings to surface as you realise how good you are.
3. Forgiveness, letting go.
I invite you to pour your heart out onto a paper. Any negative feelings, thoughts you may have about yourself or others can be reduced by transferring them onto a paper. Write everything down, swear if you need to, but make sure you’re honest.
Once all that was eating you up is written down, burn it. This will reduce or completely release the negative emotions that are attached to that story. It loses power as it moves out of your mind.
Repeat if necessary, as many times as needed.
We all carry lots of negative emotions with ourselves on a daily basis. What you need to know is that it’s not mandatory and it can be released, or at least reduced.
4. Re-connect with good feeling.
Spend at least 5 minutes each day to think about times when you felt really good. You’re looking for feelings of joy, love and happiness. When you have the picture or movie in your mind, amplify it by making it bigger, brighter and allow the good feelings to grow and intensify. You may want to turn the sounds up, or make the colours more vivid.
Keep it in your mind as long as you can.
You can repeat this exercise as many times a day as you want.
5. Be kind to yourself.
Here, I mean how you talk to yourself and how you look after yourself. Self-talk is really important. What you feed your mind with will show up in your life. I made a short video, you can watch it here.
I also invite you to take regular breaks and start doing what you love doing. Focus on your hobbies, on people you like and love, and on activities that give you good feelings. Even as little as 5 mins of ‘me’ time can make a huge impact.
If you have any questions, or would like to work with me, please feel free to contact me on 07886 394 365 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.